Happyland

Whee! Hello people! I hope you are all doing fine!

I am in a uppity uppity mood ’cause in less than 24 hours, I will be getting my arse outta silly-pore together with Collin, Xiang and Jackson.

I am happy even though I still have a report and a blog diary to clear by today, or at least by the time I board the plane tomorrow!

I am happy ’cause this trip means the beginning of something to us.

I am happy ’cause we will have something special up by the time we are back!

Mark down 03 May 2008 tentatively! ‘Cause we are still counting on Jackie Boy to meet the deadline.

I am really happy. : )

Something to say after all.

I thought I have nothing to say. I thought the video says it all.

Then I read Meiqi’s blog and I read Su’s blog and in the latter, my dear french horn mate said:

FORM
is temporary,
CLASS
is permanent.

Frankly speaking, it hurts. Like a pain that doesn’t really go away each time I think about it. To the extent I feel the explicit barrage of emotions trapped up in my throat. I think I could cry if I want to, but I shouldn’t.

The tear stained faces of the band. My lovely french horn juniors who have now become alumni themselves, lovingly wiping the tears off their juniors’ faces. I am proud of these people, proud of my french hornies as we used to call ourselves. Never mind I am some queer senior who pops by once in a blue moon and couldn’t remember their names for nuts. I am proud.

It actually felt nostalgic and I find myself having flashbacks of Indoor 2001. The feeling that it’s all over and there’s nothing you can do about it at all. And that perhaps was why I feel I could comprehend what the young ones were feeling on the field.

But those should be tears of glory. You know in your hearts, you tried your best, gave your all; and that is all it matters. It was a great show, really great. I was touched. Thank you.

That’s all I have to say.

The Final Lap

I keep telling the people around me, can you believe it’s only 3 weeks to the end?

19 days for me to be exact. If this isn’t the FINAL lap, I don’t know what is. On hindsight, all the previous “final laps” don’t count, and now that I’ve mentioned, they all sounded a bit silly actually. It’s perhaps only human to segregate life into moments, that’s why we have so many final laps but we never really get there.

Then I wonder, what is this THERE that we were working for anyway?

When I was young, way before I had any notion of age, my THERE was studying in a university and earning big bucks so I give them to the people I love. I don’t recall but I had apparently promise to give my auntie/nanny a monthly allowance of $100 when I grow up - a promise I hope to fulfill as far as I can once I start having a stable income. Of course, I was happy then - life was only about stealing chocolate from the fridge and running along the corridor in panties.

When I was in primary six, my THERE was getting into Dunman High (don’t ask why ’cause I don’t remember) but I got into TK instead. But I was happy and spent some of the best days of my life there - UG and TKBand combined.

When I was in secondary two, my THERE was getting into one of the science classes but I got into arts (and effectively downgraded from the 2B to 3G). But I was happy ’cause I met Collin who proved to be a worthy friend/confidante/bf/pillar through the years.

When I was in secondary four, my THERE was getting into the science faculty of TJC but I got into AJC eventually. But I was happy ’cause in 26/02, I met all the nicest people around that darn mugger compound.

When I was in J2, my THERE was getting into SMU Business but I got into NUS Arts, and that truthfully, was perhaps the biggest setback to me in my entire academic life. Well, I can’t say I am happy but I pulled through and here I am standing at the perceived dumps I thought I was deserted at 4 years ago. A little wiser. Much more grown up. I am content.

If happiness is sublimal, perhaps content is just fine and maybe even better than happiness itself. I could ask more from life, but I am content with life as it is now. I have shifted myself out of the rat race and got myself into a different game play where in this race, my only competitor was no one but myself. In this case, I can fall and am sure that no one will trample on my demise. And if I rise, I have overcome no one but myself.

It’s no fun being put on the see saw constantly.

Looking back, perhaps I was mediocre – mediocre enough not to always end up wherever I wanted to go. But mediocrity is really a standard set by no one but yourself. For the little girl who only wanted to study in college, I am THERE.

On the contrary, if I were the girl who studied at Dunman High, got into the science stream consequently, then went on to TJC, and eventually ended up at SMU, I don’t know if I will still like the girl that I would have become. I’m no insinuating that it will be bad ‘cause I really do not know. But I know I am comfortable with the person I am now, with my values and beliefs.

There are times where I fear that my confidence and optimism are in fact shells that shield the reality. I don’t know what it really is this time round but I don’t think so.

We can only believe, set your destination and work towards it – doesn’t matter if you get there eventually or not ‘cause the journey is much sweeter.

Help!

Anyone has Simcity Societies?

please

please

please

: )

What a wonderful world

Having clear my mind of what I want to do with my life smells like the break of dawn.

It’s a horrendous internal struggle. There are a million things I can possibly do after graduation, but at the end of the day, it’s really boils down to what I want to do. It’s my life and I only live once. Specifically, I am only young once and the best thing about youth is you can err and do so forgivably.

I am counting the blessings bestow upon my puny little life. No financial burden. No pesky parents or kay-poh relatives. No one telling me what to do and I am pretty sure that most of those who really matters would support me in whatever I decide to do in the end.

So Xiang and I laid out our plans for Little Red Heels AND yes, we are working on it already. No, you won’t be seeing a brick & mortar LRH anytime soon but if everything goes as planned, it shouldn’t pale in comparison either.

I am not building castles in the sky. If LRH does not support me financially (and my definition of support is definitely NOT low), I know when it’s time to wrap up and say my goodbye. With that said, I will try not to let it happen.

Set your goals and work towards them, it’s that simple.

Following the first wise words I learnt from my NM1101E lecturer back in year 1 sem 1 (time sure flies),

WHAT’S THE WORSE THAT CAN HAPPEN?

I started from zero.

I have nothing to lose.

Hope you have found your path to the light too!

The Idol Phenomenon ala CNM

I must be some kind of super girl, and a proud one at that!

I managed to clear 2 reports and 3 presentations this week. Most of which I have to redo ’cause of my missing MacBook. Karma will fall upon that green idiot. Karma karma karma! Hmph.

Bad incidents aside.

I must have clear at least 50 presentations in my entire NUS life. But this one have to be one of the fun-nest and funniest. I don’t know about the audience, but I enjoyed myself. These CNM peeps are a crazy bunch! I am looking forward to our grad trip to beautifullll Bangkokkkk! If you are reading this and is a CNM student, you are invited! Join us join us join us! The more the merrier!

I digressed. We presented on the music industry with reference to transnational media companies. Here’s our take on the idol phenomenon.

Our promotional posters in accordance to our roles.

VOTE SEAWEED to 4202!!!!

And thanks to Shawn who basically documented our whole presentation by actively snapping away.

Oh ya, I snipped my own fringe. Heh.

Love! : )

 

6 more projects to go.

Fighting life.

I think I am down on my luck these days.

So I lost my newly bought O2 Atom end of last year. Then I got into a minor car accident. Now, I lost my beloved MacBook that I’ve used for barely 3 months.

I need to go bai bai (pray). Guan Yin Ma must be unhappy with me.

Apparently, when I was young, my mother have brought me to the temple and I was made Guan Yin’s god daughter. Can’t remember whether it was because I was naughty (which I don’t think so). Hmm..

I have too much things on my mind these days. Need a break, like desperately.

1 more month plus to go to graduation. Go go go!

First my O2, now MacBook.

I lost my MacBook.

My stupidity is appalling.

What’s the worse that can happen?

Lethargy.

Procastination.

Unreliability.

Commitment phobic.

Apathetic.

It’s time for a change.

Enthusiasm.

Motivated.

Zest.

Fervour.

Passion.

Go get it, girl!