Jack & Jill roll down the hill
Very random caption, just like the frequency of my blog posts. Heh.
Forgive me. Unless a sudden writer’s surge arise (which is rare), I seldom feel the need to propagate how perfect (or imperfect) life is for me these days.
Or maybe truth is, nothing much is going on with my life. I think some people call this being ‘jaded’. Others call this a routine, and I think that’s what I got myself into the past months.
How strange life is. Perhaps a more apt caption could be, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
I had wanted to be a doctor or lawyer when I was young (’cause SBC always portray them as being very desirable aka definition of high flyers). Then I wanted to be a flight stewardess ’cause I realised routine isn’t my cup of tea and the travelling is a tempting bonus.
Finally, I decided at a tender age of fourteen, that I want to be an events organiser. No routine, and above all, you are worth how hard you work. For the records, I did consider being an insurance agent or property agent (hard work = worth & money) prior to settling for events when I realised the stigma behind these jobs.
Ten years down the road, I am none of the above but it doesn’t make me any less happy.
Because it takes real interest, that’s why I am not a doctor nor lawyer.
Because there is other ways to travelling, that’s why I am not a flight stewardess.
Because I realised you can work hard your whole life and like it or not, it is not a direct equation to worth and money. That’s why I am not an events organiser nor agent. In this case, from what I learnt from a very brief stint, who you know perhaps matters more, and how well you can play your cards. It’s a pity I can’t do the latter well, I’ve never consider myself to be eloquent enough and also do not want to look into the mirror one day and not recognise who I was seeing.
It’s just business, yes. Then I have weighed my options and came to a conclusion that I can perhaps take my life and energy elsewhere, and go to sleep at night feeling the sense of satisfaction and knowing tomorrow will come and I can achieve so much more.
There are times I look back and cringed with regret for not acting a certain way and for assuming my all righteous attitude, perhaps things would have turned out different. I would have turned out different. Perhaps perhaps perhaps. But thinking about all these honestly doesn’t change anything. It has long gone.
Screwing up a chapter of life is only, well, a chapter. It doesn’t mean that your life is over.
I can only envision the life that has yet to come, and work towards that. My ex-boss once said something along this line – that she never believe when people tell her that something is impossible; because it’s when you dream, that you achieve. You envision, you work towards it, you may fail but you won’t end up too way off. If you never even work for what you believe, you have failed from that very moment.
At this moment of life, we are all trying to earn that first bucket of gold. The methods are different and definition of bucket also differs. Just remember not to regret the process, but enjoy it instead.
Filed under: random | Leave a Comment
Still learning.
I was perturbed for the longest time as to why I seemed to have stop being the girl I used to be.
Defined the ex-me.
The one who takes pride in participating in school performances, like dancing for teachers’ day, racial harmony day, CCA farewell dinner, just to name a few.
The one who enjoys spearheading class outings, chalets – planning and making sure everyone has fun.
The one who surrounds herself with friends, is hypersensitive to how people view her, and believes in doing the right things.
Life has a funny way of changing people. Collin put it simply for me – it’s just that my priorities in life has changed. I wonder what took me so long to come to understand this.
I still attend the friends’ gatherings and very much enjoy them, the difference is I stop being the initiator – which Collin reassured me that there is nothing wrong with that.
I don’t really care how you view me, when you don’t really matter to me in the first place.
I will like to spend my time doing up my photoshop to launch a new series at LRH.
Or surf the net for fresh ideas and inspirations to manufacture some new designs.
Or just watch brainless TV and get my much desired rest, a luxury these days.
I guess when life gives you some, it does take a little from you as well. Priorities shift, but I figure, as long as you still remember the things that are important to you (like friendship), you may not initiate, but when the opportunities present, you make an effort to embrace these important things or people. It’s not that bad.
On an irrelevant note, I enjoy making money. But I do not love money that much that it makes me forgo the other more meaningful things in life.
Still learning the ropes of life.
Filed under: collin, from the heart, random | 2 Comments
THE time of the night.
I have an ugly confession to make.
I somehow feel
along the way
I seems to have less love to give.
I still love very much in my heart
and I do not hesitate to tell and think
that I love and treasure
a certain list of friends and family a lot.
A LOT.
But because this love doesn’t seem
to translate to actions,
I know I am only fooling myself
to think that I am still the same me.
I don’t know what happen along the way.
(Maybe I do.)
I am not taking for granted that
these loved ones will stay by me forever.
But I hope they are forgiving
and do stay
and bear with me till I figure out what’s up.
I finally said what I always
wanted to admit to myself.
Filed under: from the heart, random | 2 Comments
Life now.
Not been updating this blog. Urpsy. Actually I haven’t been online much of late.
In the last few months, I have in short
QUIT MY “DREAM” JOB
STILL WORKING ON LITTLE RED HEELS
STARTED A BUSINESS WITH MY SIS
For the latter, we have followed the footsteps of my parents, i.e. fashion wholesale. Sorry to the very much loved ones and all my very dear friends who are not informed! In my defence, it was a pretty rush decision that spiraled within a week or two ’cause an ideal shop space popped from no where. I was also recovering from the career change shock and second guessing my decision.
I have now came to terms with the career path change. If anything, I realised my interest for making money seems to be able to surpass quite a few things which are also deemed important to me. Things like events, creative works and emotional development.
Not materialism, but there is something fulfilling about making money when you know you work hard and get rewarded for it. But the retail industry also means long hours and hardly enough rest days. My only off day is often dedicated to a photoshoot for Little Red Heels, and some quality time spent with Collin thereafter.
Fulfilling, yes. I can’t complained. : )
Filed under: random, work | Leave a Comment
I miss you!
Hello to all the hotness and suaveness out there.
I have been pretty much out of action for a while – been pretty caught up with “career” building. I don’t know and can’t say for sure that the word “career” is appropriate, but that’s what I am all about for now.
If you miss me, ask me out. Chances are, I am missing you too!
P.S. Collin and I just celebrated our big NINE on the 19th this month. Happy 9 – thanks for all the wonderful moments and many more to come!
Filed under: random | 2 Comments
In mood for another random.
I just thought of a reason why I love Collin.
It’s in pondering times like these, you know you can set your mind full to think about the issues at hand. And know that he is there to provide you with some input, or at the very least, an arm to lean on.
You know that he will not be the root of the issue to solve (i.e. adding to your problems), but the root who holds you and shelters you when you need it the most.
But yes, you don’t need much reasons to justify love.
Like I told a dear friend, love is a feeling and you will know it when you see him/her.
8 years, going 9.
I still think, this is love.
Filed under: collin, from the heart, random | Leave a Comment
Tags: collin, love
Decision time.
It’s 0316h, and I’m wide awake. Hello world, if you are still awake to see this as well. You should turn in already, so should I.
May 2008. Ten months ago, my life seems to have just begun. A new chapter.
Goodbye to schooling days, and hello world of money making.
10 months.
I bummed, and got bored.
I got a job that was part of the “plan”.
I love the job.
Then grew to dislike the environment that comes along with it.
It made me smile wide and made me tear in dispair.
So much so I think I could say I don’t want it for now.
Then I quit and decided to do what I also love, which also brings in the moolahs.
10 months from graduation, things are not too much different.
Faced with career decisions.
Later today, I might just commence on a step of life I never imagine I will but why not?
I am a little scared ’cause I don’t know how it will change my current life which I love.
But hell, people are moving forward, it’s time I do.
I think I need to stop being stubborn and idealistic – and listen.
Filed under: from the heart, random | Leave a Comment
Tags: career
i am in love… (part II)
with this video!
kudos to Ting!
I have watched this 5 times and still loving it!
Filed under: laughs, occasion | Leave a Comment
Tags: wedding
-
If you haven’t heard
