What’s your motivation?

Just came back home from a late dinner/supper with the girls at LL. Great night with lots of chattering especially from sissy, Yina and myself. Haha. We try to restrain ourselves but the teochew girls always end up talking the most. Erhem, I love all you girls nonetheless! : )

A recent topic we have been raising of late:

What is your motivation?

Is it money?

Is it recognition?

Is it success? 

Is it fame?

 

This topic kind of coincides with the many long therapy sessions I’ve been having with Collin of late. What I’m doing at this point in life , and specifically with LL, with LRH?

My first actual work experience proved that I cannot work for passion without money.

My second work experience, which is now at LL, seems to have proven that I cannot work for money without passion either.

I guess this is what happens to people who never really need to worry about money. Thankfully to my parents, but it’s also where this story begins.

To set the record straight, I AM A FREAKING WORKAHOLIC.

Like how people are shopaholic, or like to buy expensive bags and shoes. I like to work. I feel the same orgasmic happiness when I finish doing a LRH launch, and perhaps more so than when I got the Chanel Jumbo I always thought I wanted. (But the latter feels more like, oh-I-bought-it-hmm.)

And sometimes I know it jeopardises the relationships around me, like when Collin has to hang around just because I’m not done yet or when I burn my only off day just to finish up some work. But I really enjoy the process of working and know that I am doing something of value.

So what’s my motivation?

To know that I’ve push myself hard, to work towards something and get rewarded adequately at the end of it.

So I guess it is a combination of money and success.

What really irks me is when words are not followed with actions, or when actions don’t lead to success. The latter simply because when you work, you ought to be working towards a goal and working smart in order to up the chances of success, rather than working and going through the motions because you have to.

There’s a term we learnt in secondary history class – meritocracy, which by now, we know it’s more like a myth or ideology, or you can also say, absolute bullshit.

But that’s what I subscribed to personally – you are answerable to your own success, hence you work, you achieve. Don’t blame anyone, and don’t tell me you don’t know why things are like that.

I think if you really believe in it, and very importantly, if your heart is in it, you will make it work.

 

So now you ask yourself,

What is your motivation?

And you don’t have to tell anyone. Just be honest with yourself and when all it clear to you, work towards your motivation.

‘Cause really, at the end of the day, it’s your life and no one else.

this wednesday is a good day.

I’m overcome by a barrage of emotions, good ones mostly. So here I am, my natural outlet – blogging – though I am ashamed to admit and I’m a super infrequent blogger. Maybe I shouldn’t call myself a blogger, more like just a random someone who owns a wordpress account by chance.

Thank you, readers, who conscientiously clicked on my blog each day, contributing to the hits, only to see the same old post. *ashamed*

My work is contradictory. I own a blogshop myself. But I also own a wholesale business that helps build other blogshops. If you ask me if I ever felt a tinge of jealousy to see other blogshops aka my own customers do better than I do – well yes, I do sometimes. But more often than not, this jealousy is way marginalised by the happiness and excitement for my customers to see that they are doing well and we are there to grow together with them. This is not propaganda. Haha. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Today, I received great news that two of them are expanding; and another just had a successful launch for her manufactured item and is expecting a backorder.

I’m so so so happy for you girls! xxxx : )

These incidents plus my sporadic thoughts of late – it’s funny how in mere two days, whatever I am doing now suddenly makes so much sense. Enough to make me feel that I’m possibly in a better position than I ever was before.

Above all, for once, I live in my fairytale world that you don’t have to play dirty to succeed.

The day I accepted that meritocracy is a myth, it was terribly upsetting but that’s when you know you’ve grown up and crudely put, that’s life. Along the way, some of us would have succumbed (or even embraced) the Tao of shortcuts. Whether it is knowing the right people (which can be respectable) to manipulating people to your advantage and committing unscrupulous acts that you’ll be ashamed to tell your parents.

I sinked under politics. They are too exhausting mentally and physically. I much prefer to mind my own business and as my mum wisely said whatever you do, do it with your heart. I wonder why it is so difficult for some people to do that.

Still you can run but can’t hide from the tiring P; and I don’t know so much about joining them if you can’t fight them. Dear Ting advised that it’s all a matter of perceptions. If you choose to ignore them and not be affected by them, you can survive. True, I’m trying this out.

I blogged about how life is a constant work in progress previously. Then someone shared with me that WIP is not such a bad thing because only with expectations, you drive yourself harder and higher. True true.

life

Life is written as such you get ups (the l and the f) and downs (the i and the e); sometimes you may even sink under (below the dot in i, haha). Don’t expect to be up there all the time. Don’t be despaired either when you slip and fall. Be that irritating fly that doesn’t go away regardless of how people slap and flap.

Just keep going and you’ll get there eventually.

To those climbing your way up, I say please stop and reflect at times, and not be caught in the rat race. You don’t know what you may lose along the way, and it may be more than what you ask for at the end of the day.

Remember your loved ones – friends, family & bf – because
these are the people who are going to stand by you no matter what.

this wednesday is remembering happiness.

♥

I’m back! Back to update on life these days.

You know how it is like. Maybe we all experience this at some point or another.

The feeling of standing in the middle of a busy road;
watching people go/work towards their goal/heading somewhere purposeful/
doing things that are enriching; growing, learning.

I know how much the mundane is not for me.
But I never realise how growth is a major part of being not-mundane.

♥

If I could have things my way, I would

1 Make Little Red Heels the most awesome website to shop at.
Perfect the layout and have weekly launches.

2 Acquire new knowledge – off the mind, property market (most definitely).
Maybe start some investment young, but at least, start by understanding.

3 Still have energy to work on LXXLA. Nice designs are not enough,
but superly is-it-christmas awesome designs. Complete with
cooperative suppliers and happy customers.

4 Travel and take a rejuvenating break from all the above.

Instead of

1 Feeling like Little Red Heels is a constant work in progress.
Struggling launches ’cause both of us are so busy, always.

2 Feeling like I don’t have the time to carry things through till the end.

3 Working on whatever comes up. Nudge, I move.
Really wish I can do more.

4 What holidays when all the above are not in place.

♥

You get the gist. I think the list can go on.

I am admittedly quite a workaholic;
and I somehow always think that I am not doing enough.
(I don’t know if people think that I am working enough,
honestly that don’t really matter much.)

I constantly worry that I am not pushing myself enough,
that I am not working my currently resources to the best,
that I am not growing.

Up to this point, for those who are aware of my health history,
will probably think I should hold it and rest more.

I say, I know that very well – I am resting more,
but also do let me push myself ’cause I am only the most
happy when I do that – to know I am growing.

♥

My sister had just casually remarked,
life is playing catch up.

That’s how life is like for me now.

I’ve just launched a new series on Little Red Heels.

I’m off to a work trip next week so I have about 3 days to catch up
with the preparations for the trip.

Meanwhile, I got to pack the packages and head off to the post office before I fly off.
Also, reply to all the emails that I’ve been behind for a while by now.

Not forgetting a photoshoot this Sunday so our models don’t get poached away.

Playing catch up, yes.

♥

With all the above said, I don’t remember feeling this way so deeply maybe one month back.

So maybe I don’t have to be playing catch up all the time;
maybe this is just a tight stretch that will be over before I know it.

I know, I’ll be back!

♥

Finally for some happy things.

In my last work trip, I took a snapshot of every
happy moment I feel – even the slightest.

I think I should do this more, so I’ll remember that
happiness can be simple.

this saturday is happy thoughts only.

Everyone updates Facebook status at whim, but this of all rings rather true.
Undeniably, things were much simpler when we were younger.

Now that most of us have adulthood smacked in the face,
we worry if working hard enough for the future we dream of;
if we are earning enough; if we are keeping up with the peers;
if we are making the most of our current resources;
if we will lost what we have now;
if that future will ever become reality.

We cannot run away from the craziness of adulthood.

But in the midst of this madness,
we need to ask ourselves,

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

Simply ’cause we are responsible for our own happiness!

1. Take a vacation whenever you feel you need one – be it a 3 day BKK trip or a week long Taiwan trip.
I am so wanting to go to Europe, or anywhere exotic. Soon soon!

2. Implement a no-work day – bask under the sun when the sun is way up,
huddle in your room when it’s raining out there. Leave your laptop at home if necessary.

3. You know who to earn your keep, you gotta spend your keep too!
Try it: specify an amount you can afford to spend, and buy anything you want with that money.

4. Watch Discovery or any real life show – just so you know how blessed you are.

5. Hang out with your friends at least once a week, they are the ones that keep you to the ground.

6. Do something that you have not tried before – sky diving, extreme ride,
scuba diving, maybe Singapore Flyer, etc.

7. Discover a new place to eat with your loved ones.

8. Dress up and make yourself feel pretty everyday.

9. Rant, cry, scream at people who pissed you off. It’s part of the healing process.
Then just forget about them after that – no point holding on to negative feelings.
Being forgetful is not such a bad thing.

10. Think positive. Also, put yourself in the shoes of others.
Added: Though to be happy, it’s okay to be selfish sometimes.
Appreciate those around you. Remember what goes around, comes around.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Come up with your TEN HAPPY HABITS too!

the things about life

there are some people (or moments) that you think are so in the past, but somehow you keep reliving them every once in a while, and finally come to realise that they never were the past.

 

the day it stumbles upon you that the person, or the moment, does not matter anymore. that you will not cringe, or feel your heart beat a wee bit faster or slower, when you think about the person (or moment).

they call this,

moving on.

Life is still, good.

I was scanning through my old entries in boredom and I found this paragraph I write somewhere in May 2007:

I think, I have my whole life to make the bucks but only one shot at my passion, so why not let it be now. Who knows, bucks and passion could possibly blend. Life is all good.

 

So I had my one shot at my passion.

Realise that bucks and passion doesn’t really blend, at least for said job.

Decided to go for interest where the possibility of bucks is higher.

And guess what?

LIFE IS STILL ALL GOOD!

 

Update: I receive an sms from ex-company asking if I am keen to work on project basis. What do you think? I think I know what I think.

Min in all randomity

I was bouncing emails with one of the customers, chatting randomly about LRH, school, life and the like.

Then we speak of passion versus the things we are do at present. It’s funny how we sometimes feel impelled to travel an opposite direction from the ones we know we are truly passionate about.

I took this off the email, I said:

It’s really cliche but sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves and our abilities and don’t let people tell you you can’t do it. I am learning that myself still!

If our lives comes with a known deadline, perhaps we will live our lives much differently as how we would live it now.

Think about it.

——

The above is copied from whatever I wrote in littleredblog(at)wordpress. Heh. But don’t think I am that lazy ok. Ha. Because you are reading this blog not littleredblog, it probably means you are much closer to me! So I will elaborate some more.

They are many things in life we classify them as phase 2 – things that we will do much later in our lives. Ironically, these are the things that are closer to our hearts and perhaps much more important to us on many levels.

It’s a bit morbid, but if you realise you only have got 5 years more to live, you know you would probably jump straight into that phase 2 and live life the way you always wanted. Then I wonder why is it that we can’t do it now. Perhaps because we now we still have many good years to go. Perhaps we take whatever time we have for granted.

But seriously, life can so easily be taken away. How do we know we’ll survive to execute phase 2?

We don’t know.

I put forth to Collin the same query last night as we are walking home. I think he gets what I mean but as the conversation closed, nothing changes. It’s easier to take life for granted. It’s easier to live in our shell and makes little steps.

If I know I am dying, I will perhaps put my worldly pursuits to an end and contribute whatever energy left of me to the greater good, to bring as much happiness to others while I still can.

But because I take it for granted that I am not dying anytime soon, but treasuring the time given to me, I shall pursue my passion and the greater good can be classified as phase 2. If I get there.

Something so simple seems so difficult to understand.

The Final Lap

I keep telling the people around me, can you believe it’s only 3 weeks to the end?

19 days for me to be exact. If this isn’t the FINAL lap, I don’t know what is. On hindsight, all the previous “final laps” don’t count, and now that I’ve mentioned, they all sounded a bit silly actually. It’s perhaps only human to segregate life into moments, that’s why we have so many final laps but we never really get there.

Then I wonder, what is this THERE that we were working for anyway?

When I was young, way before I had any notion of age, my THERE was studying in a university and earning big bucks so I give them to the people I love. I don’t recall but I had apparently promise to give my auntie/nanny a monthly allowance of $100 when I grow up – a promise I hope to fulfill as far as I can once I start having a stable income. Of course, I was happy then – life was only about stealing chocolate from the fridge and running along the corridor in panties.

When I was in primary six, my THERE was getting into Dunman High (don’t ask why ’cause I don’t remember) but I got into TK instead. But I was happy and spent some of the best days of my life there – UG and TKBand combined.

When I was in secondary two, my THERE was getting into one of the science classes but I got into arts (and effectively downgraded from the 2B to 3G). But I was happy ’cause I met Collin who proved to be a worthy friend/confidante/bf/pillar through the years.

When I was in secondary four, my THERE was getting into the science faculty of TJC but I got into AJC eventually. But I was happy ’cause in 26/02, I met all the nicest people around that darn mugger compound.

When I was in J2, my THERE was getting into SMU Business but I got into NUS Arts, and that truthfully, was perhaps the biggest setback to me in my entire academic life. Well, I can’t say I am happy but I pulled through and here I am standing at the perceived dumps I thought I was deserted at 4 years ago. A little wiser. Much more grown up. I am content.

If happiness is sublimal, perhaps content is just fine and maybe even better than happiness itself. I could ask more from life, but I am content with life as it is now. I have shifted myself out of the rat race and got myself into a different game play where in this race, my only competitor was no one but myself. In this case, I can fall and am sure that no one will trample on my demise. And if I rise, I have overcome no one but myself.

It’s no fun being put on the see saw constantly.

Looking back, perhaps I was mediocre – mediocre enough not to always end up wherever I wanted to go. But mediocrity is really a standard set by no one but yourself. For the little girl who only wanted to study in college, I am THERE.

On the contrary, if I were the girl who studied at Dunman High, got into the science stream consequently, then went on to TJC, and eventually ended up at SMU, I don’t know if I will still like the girl that I would have become. I’m no insinuating that it will be bad ‘cause I really do not know. But I know I am comfortable with the person I am now, with my values and beliefs.

There are times where I fear that my confidence and optimism are in fact shells that shield the reality. I don’t know what it really is this time round but I don’t think so.

We can only believe, set your destination and work towards it – doesn’t matter if you get there eventually or not ‘cause the journey is much sweeter.

What a wonderful world

Having clear my mind of what I want to do with my life smells like the break of dawn.

It’s a horrendous internal struggle. There are a million things I can possibly do after graduation, but at the end of the day, it’s really boils down to what I want to do. It’s my life and I only live once. Specifically, I am only young once and the best thing about youth is you can err and do so forgivably.

I am counting the blessings bestow upon my puny little life. No financial burden. No pesky parents or kay-poh relatives. No one telling me what to do and I am pretty sure that most of those who really matters would support me in whatever I decide to do in the end.

So Xiang and I laid out our plans for Little Red Heels AND yes, we are working on it already. No, you won’t be seeing a brick & mortar LRH anytime soon but if everything goes as planned, it shouldn’t pale in comparison either.

I am not building castles in the sky. If LRH does not support me financially (and my definition of support is definitely NOT low), I know when it’s time to wrap up and say my goodbye. With that said, I will try not to let it happen.

Set your goals and work towards them, it’s that simple.

Following the first wise words I learnt from my NM1101E lecturer back in year 1 sem 1 (time sure flies),

WHAT’S THE WORSE THAT CAN HAPPEN?

I started from zero.

I have nothing to lose.

Hope you have found your path to the light too!

Protected: Hello world!

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: