has it been another year?

Yes indeed!

Felky, our cute salesgirl at LL, asked me today how is it like being TWENTY years old?

Normally, I will have thrown her a deep stare and screammmmed ’cause there is no reason to fear twenty when everyone in the shop is mid twenties and beyond. Scary thought, the latter.

But I told her today, being the big two-zero, means financial independence and that she is able to do things she isn’t able to when she was in her teens. Like travelling – which is apt ’cause she is going to be on a jet plane for the first time come May, en route to Taiwan.

I am jealous.

But ok, I’m more of very happy for her, to see that she is so sincerely happy and contented. Especially so ’cause she is treating her mummy to this trip (and her sis is treating their auntie just so her mummy will have a good company). Very filial girl. Sometimes, she puts us to shame. Haha.

Girls at LL are camwhores, happy ones. Once someone takes out a camera, everyone wants to be part of the pic! Haha.

This day, Felky bought us Barbie contact lens that is supposed to enlarge your pupil for that dolly eyed look. But it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference on Sissy and me ’cause we have large(r) black pupil to begin with.

And I say less so for me, ’cause I have a smaller eye frame amongst the trio. Bleh. I need a cheek suction and eye enlargement. Oh, please add buttock and thigh liposuction to the list! Sigh sigh.

I was also random surfing on FaceBook. Very bad I know, when I should be replying emails for Little Red Heels but hey, work-life balance right? Haha.

And the side bar flashed some pictures from the past.

Events picture taken back when I was still rocking my so called passion. I actually look pretty fresh back then; either that or the photographer smooth us all out ’cause honestly we all look pretty radiant.

And I actually miss my short crop but I shan’t do anything foolish for now.

How was it being 22-going-23, compared to now?

1. Firstly, age becomes an undisclosed thing. Much like an obscure concept that brings people down at the mere thought of it, and as complicated as physics (hated it in secondary school but when on to major it in junior college, and effectively screw up my life with it ’cause I did so bad for A levels) or programming (got an U(nsatisfactory) for this module in university).

2. I began using anti-ageing products, never hurt to start earlier.

3. Financial independence rocks my socks, and yes, better than passion. (But oh wells, I submitted and subscribed to the reality of life – money does make life easier but no, I’m not a money slave. I just enjoy the security of having money and knowing if I need it, I have it.)

4. I have a new friend. Her name is Slowing Metabolism. So yes, have to snack less and hello, morning pilates!

These were taken in January 2009, change much?

Life is still, good.

I was scanning through my old entries in boredom and I found this paragraph I write somewhere in May 2007:

I think, I have my whole life to make the bucks but only one shot at my passion, so why not let it be now. Who knows, bucks and passion could possibly blend. Life is all good.

 

So I had my one shot at my passion.

Realise that bucks and passion doesn’t really blend, at least for said job.

Decided to go for interest where the possibility of bucks is higher.

And guess what?

LIFE IS STILL ALL GOOD!

 

Update: I receive an sms from ex-company asking if I am keen to work on project basis. What do you think? I think I know what I think.

Min in all randomity

I was bouncing emails with one of the customers, chatting randomly about LRH, school, life and the like.

Then we speak of passion versus the things we are do at present. It’s funny how we sometimes feel impelled to travel an opposite direction from the ones we know we are truly passionate about.

I took this off the email, I said:

It’s really cliche but sometimes we just have to believe in ourselves and our abilities and don’t let people tell you you can’t do it. I am learning that myself still!

If our lives comes with a known deadline, perhaps we will live our lives much differently as how we would live it now.

Think about it.

——

The above is copied from whatever I wrote in littleredblog(at)wordpress. Heh. But don’t think I am that lazy ok. Ha. Because you are reading this blog not littleredblog, it probably means you are much closer to me! So I will elaborate some more.

They are many things in life we classify them as phase 2 – things that we will do much later in our lives. Ironically, these are the things that are closer to our hearts and perhaps much more important to us on many levels.

It’s a bit morbid, but if you realise you only have got 5 years more to live, you know you would probably jump straight into that phase 2 and live life the way you always wanted. Then I wonder why is it that we can’t do it now. Perhaps because we now we still have many good years to go. Perhaps we take whatever time we have for granted.

But seriously, life can so easily be taken away. How do we know we’ll survive to execute phase 2?

We don’t know.

I put forth to Collin the same query last night as we are walking home. I think he gets what I mean but as the conversation closed, nothing changes. It’s easier to take life for granted. It’s easier to live in our shell and makes little steps.

If I know I am dying, I will perhaps put my worldly pursuits to an end and contribute whatever energy left of me to the greater good, to bring as much happiness to others while I still can.

But because I take it for granted that I am not dying anytime soon, but treasuring the time given to me, I shall pursue my passion and the greater good can be classified as phase 2. If I get there.

Something so simple seems so difficult to understand.